


Penitence of a Witch

by moon_opals



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Complicated Sibling Relationship, Eda won't let her, Fluff, Gen, Lilith tries to hide from the truth, Post-Episode: s01e18 Agony of a Witch, Sibling Rivalry, Sister-Sister Relationship, Slight Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moon_opals/pseuds/moon_opals
Summary: She is triumphant. She is victorious. Lilith's future is secured.Why isn't she relieved?--Eda refuses to let her sister off so easily.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne
Comments: 39
Kudos: 247





	Penitence of a Witch

**Author's Note:**

> Agony of a Witch has ruined me.

“I don’t want her harmed.” Lilith instructs the commands with an air of confidence she has not felt in years if ever. Arms crossed behind her back, she marches to the throne room. Her chin is tilted high, and her eyes are hooded. 

Kikimora stands in an idle position. The lower half of her face remains unseen, but her eye remains as expressive as ever. “It seems all you needed was the right motivation,” she chirps in a delightfully grandmother tone. It is neither congratulatory or condescending; a little of both, Lilith thinks. Now is not the time to debate. She wants to remain on this high for as long as she can.

She stops and tempers the smugness in her voice. “I thank you for your consideration,” she pressed her hand above her chest gem. “It may not have been possible if not for the Emperor’s benevolence and your patience.”

Lilith's response is ready when a screech bellows in the air around them. Their necks remain in place while their stares direct to the source, and she is surprised to feel a sudden absence. A longing. But it is so fleeting and abstract she barely notices it before it abdicates. Her grip around her staff tightens, and she strengthens her hold on Edalyn’s torso. 

Her cursed form is formidable. Eyes shadowed in grey narrow at Lilith. Her nose twitches, detecting the familiar scent, but there is no recognition. It is the lack of mockery and snot nosed shrubbery that brands the reality in her skull. Edalyn, as of right now, is gone. Every fiber of her genetic and mental makeup has been eradicated. 

Lilith has never dreamt of the day. Of course, the human child would scream defiance at the claim, but it's true. Her dreams consisted of the possibility, not exactly the reality; on and off for the past thirty years, her dreams taunted, ridiculed her. Lilith finds no solace there or here. Screams and talons tear at a blood red sky. Dusk approaches. Edalyn is a child. Orange haired. Soft cheeked. A baby in every given sense, and she reaches out to Lilith, hands outstretched as she pleads for something Lilith cannot read. The room is silent. Mercy? Help?

Her palm lies flat on a wing. _Soft,_ she registers, and she curls her fingers carefully, _how fascinating._ In her stomach, the lower digestive pit no one likes to think about, something recoils, and she steps back, removing her hand. She returns to Edalyn’s fury and sighs. _It was never supposed to be like this._

 _Are you sure,_ a disembodied voice retorts. Lilith’s shoulders stand erect, and warmth swarms to her cheeks. “Sleep spell,” she chants and watches pale blue light lull the beast to sleep. The effect is immediate. Edalyn’s face grows slack, and her head lobs downward, eyes squinting to a slow close. After verifying she will not embarrass her in front of Emperor Belos, as she has done multiple times without being present, Lilith seeks Kikimora.

“I will report to the Emperor,” she reports. “I understand he has a lot of work to do.”

Kikimora hums knowingly. “He will be extremely pleased to see the Owl Lady has finally been apprehended,” she clasps her hands together in a professional manner. Lilith reads this as relief, whether for Lilith or the Emperor, she is not able to discern. What she clings to is _extremely_. The Emperor is never mostly pleased and can only be so when he has reached his highest achievement. 

“Yes,” she bows. “Thank you, Kiki.”

“You should rest after,” Kikimora suggests. “It seems the fight took a lot of you.”

Lilith strains to smile. “Kiki, do not worry,” she reassures. “My sister is,” the slip up is quickly amended, “was a formidable adversary, but now has a chance for redemption.” She looks back at her sleeping form. “He will provide what others cannot,” a crease forms in between her eyebrows. 

Doubt is landlocked in the furthest reaches of her brain. Like a hemlock purée simmering in a cauldron, resolve boils her bubbling troubles away. Her attention seeks the throne room's door, closed and shut, and her heart skips a beat. It feels strange, almost girlish in a way, for her emotions to fall out of order.

“I will present my sister to the Emperor,” she announces. Her fists find her stomach, sitting atop it as her nerves collect. 

Kikimora nods approvingly. She extends her hand, claws pointed towards the door. “Go forth, Lilith,” she says sweetly. “It is time for him to appraise the owl lady.”

* * *

“It is a wonder what can be accomplished when properly motivated.”

_And conned._

Lilith bites the inside of her cheek. On her knee, she raises her head to meet Emperor Belos’ frigid emerald stare. But it is not on her. 

“Fascinating,” a lone finger taps solidly on his knee. An insect quality, centipede, she thinks, captures his voice but is oddly serpentine at the same time. She feels the texture crawl up her spin, circling the inside of her ears. Whispers abound. 

Edalyn sleeps, snores quiet. Her ears twitch.

“Well done, Lilith,” he stands, arms on his back. “You have proven yourself worthy to lead my coven.”

“Thank you, my Emperor.”

The question irritates her throat. She fears overstepping. Fear isn't adequate. She's terrified at overstepping, but she asks. She craves the reassuring caress as her concerns are washed away into a puddle at her feet. She has never yearned for such a thing in her life, have hungered, but in his presence, she wants and believes her wants are possible. Edalyn never understood this. She never saw the possibility, no, the potential in the Emperor and Lilith’s ambitions.

_Oh, Lily, can you spot the difference between ambition and greed?_

“Lilith?”

A mane of autumn prances behind the throne. Lilith snaps her teeth together to keep her gasp silent. It teases through the tiny, imperceptible gaps in between. Her shoulders reel. She seeks his stare and finds him loathing instead of calm. She buries that too. 

Did he see? For a fraction of a second, Lilith fears he’s seen what she has. He makes no notion towards it. He doesn’t rise off his throne. He doesn’t gesture over his shoulder. The heart behind his throne, entrenched in metal and gold, beats calmly. It is as comforting as it is unnerving. The fear of him seeing recedes and is quickly supplanted with another. Now is not the time to speculate she stiffens.

“My sister,” she bows her head so low. She’s embarrassed at the passion in her voice and immediately blames over exertion. “I mean, my liege, forgive me -,”

He raises a hand.

She is silenced. 

“All in due time, Lilith,” is all he says. “The owl lady has eluded capture for some time, and my alchemists never thought they’d get the chance to examine her.”

“Examine?”

Someone snorts. The sound is cat claws on a chalkboard, but no one reacts. 

“Yes, Lilith,” the Emperor continues. “We must understand the nature of the curse you cast on your sister.”

“I provided -,”

“I know,” he nods. “You did marvelous, but now, the hard work begins. The intricacy of the curse is unprecedented. If nothing else, take pride in your skills as a spell caster.”

Her stomach drops, dangling by a thread while bile claws up her throat. She pushes back. Color burns brighter than the sun on her cheeks.

“Thank you, my liege.”

She stands and glances to her right where Edalyn sleeps. Her brow knits downward. They aren’t alone. A guard has swung an arm around her neck, which means it’s more of a curve in on one side of her neck. Another is in an identical position where her third stands up, preparing to commemorate her victory.

“Is this acceptable,” she wonders aloud.

A snort that does not come from him echoes in her ears. _I hope so! I gotta say I do look good in any form. Hey, do you think you can get them to make a face? Make sure they catch my good side!_

“It is a mark in history,” he answers. “Their good will spread the word of our triumph.”

 _And a warning,_ she bemoans. 

“Yes,” Lilith nods. “An excellent plan.”

To spread propaganda, she waves her hand mockingly, a beautiful day to misinform the masses.

“You look pale, Lilith,” he observes. He dismisses her with a glide of his gold shielded hand. “To your room, child. You have had an extraneous day.”

Her lips part to protest but falls flat at the last second. Her defiance is performative; they know she will never defy him. “Yes,” she says. “May I send her to the alchemist?”

“No need,” he replies. “They have already arrived to retrieve it. You will need your strength, Lilith. Great times are ahead.”

* * *

She detects asphodel in her chambers. It is a pleasant yet dry scent, the sort of scent you'd want to welcome you home.

 _Eugh, asphodel,_ she covers her nose, waving to sweep the scent out of the room. With the door closed and a noise spell activated, she spins around, glare and fangs bared. Her fists are tight at her sides, and there is something manic about her expression. 

“What are you,” she hisses. “What are you?”

Edalyn stares at her, then smirks but keeps walking ahead until she takes a seat in one of the chairs near the window. “I don’t know,” she plops down, propping her legs on the arm of the chair. “I could be a subconscious manifestation of your long repressed guilt, or…,”

“I could be a projection of the actual Eda’s consciousness now residing in you,” finishes a second.

Lilith freezes again. Shoulders tight. Heart beating at an abominable rate. She almost doesn’t move to look, so afraid of what she may find, but she argues whatever this specter is cannot harm her or threaten her reestablished position. 

“Edalyn,” she glares, nostrils flaring. “Is this a curse?”

Edalyn, not the child, not Lord Calamity, not the rebellious potions student, but the Owl Lady saunters in the room and sits in Lilith’s bed. Arms spread on each side, she leans and tosses her head back, laughter cajoling off her tongue. 

“Me,” she grunts. “A curse?”

“You could’ve -,”

Edalyn rolls her eyes. “I can’t do anything except eat, shit, piss and eat my shit and piss,” she grimaces. “I try not to remember those parts.”

"Disgusting."

She shrugs, ambivalent. "Comes with the territory when you're stuck permanently as an owl beast."

It's a gift at how indifferent she is in her venom. Sharp, precise and never failing to hit its target, Lilith tries not to recoil but fails, or perhaps, the reaction seeps into her expression. Whether Edalyn notices or deflects, she can’t tell, and she doesn’t give her the chance to tell her.

“I know you’re upset, but Emperor Belos will heal you. He has a cure.”

The two Edalyns stare at her, dumbly, and soon exchange blank stares that erupts in laughter. Tears twinkled in the corner of their eyes. They hold their stomachs, and they snort like pigs, oblivious to their impending slaughter.

“She said,” Little Edalyn grasps her head, “she said he has a cure.”

“I know,” Big Edalyn chokes on the bed. She kicks her long legs in the air, holding her torso as she rolls. “And she says she was the smart one.”

“I know,” Little Edalyn adds. “For someone so smart, you sure are dumb, Lily.”

It’s like they’re in school again, except this time it’s two against one instead of one against one. Lilith feels the floor underneath her crumble, and she snarls, raising a finger as she points to them. “You are the foolish ones,” she slithers her words, tasting the bile fester. 

“What is this? Some trick, some curse you placed on me at the last second? Tell me,” she latches from one to the other, accusation thick and slimy, “Edalyn, tell me the truth.” 

It seems something in her voice compels them. Their laughter ceases, and they fixate on her, sober. It's so abrupt, Lilith steps back, unable to sit in her bed or chair. She doesn't think to indulge in a hot bath; she's concerned they'll chase her there too. Lilith waits instead. Candlelight illuminates her room; freckles crack and pop on Little Edalyn’s cheeks.

“I should’ve asked Luz’s age,” Big Edalyn thinks aloud. “She’s around the same age, I think. Wish I'd asked when her birthday was.”

Her lip curls, coils darkly. “Your human,” she scoffs. “Your pet.”

“My apprentice,” Big Edalyn says, coldly but with a smile. “My student, closest thing to a daughter I’ve ever had.”

The knife embedded in Lilith's chest isn't cold, but it's merciless all the same. Lilith shakes her head, pressing her hands together and bringing them to her lips. “You can still have that,” she says, despising the lump in her chest. “Edalyn, you will have your students...and…,” she stumbles at the concept of Eda wanting children, but Lilith doesn’t mull on it, “others if you want. I teach everyday. He will provide.”

Big Edalyn stands, arms crossed. “You really believe that,” she squints at Lilith. “You really think he’s going to fix me?”

“Of course,” Lilith opens her arms, exasperated. “He promised me.”

Little Edalyn inhales, cheeks puffing up like a rabid chipmunk and shakes her head. "Oh boy," she laments. "You're really deep in the hole, Lily."

"What?"

She doesn't know whether she should keep her eye on adult Edalyn or swivel to the child. It doesn't matter, really, since Little Edalyn insists on speaking her mind now that their attention is on her. "We're speaking pragmatically, right," she rolls her neck, grinning ear to ear. "Why would he heal me?"

"Because he -,"  
  
"But it is strategic to keep me as I am," she presses slowly, emphasizing every word with a click of her tongue. For a child, her gaze is sharp, which is normal for Edalyn; yes, astuteness doesn't discriminate. 

Lilith breathes deeply. “I don’t know what game this is, but fine,” she snaps. “You play an important role. We all do.”

“You don’t speak tyrannical dictator,” Edalyn sits back down, exhausted and clasps her hands in between her legs. She trains her vision to the redwood floor. “It’s strategically sound to keep me as I am now.”

“Why?”

Edalyn looks at her, as if seeing her for the first time. It seems the remnants of their childhood and their adulthood have finally conjoined, and she can see her sister for what she is. "For the love of Titan," she shakes her head, disgust spikes her tongue, "Lilith, you're so damn smart. How can you be so willfully stupid?"

It strikes a nerve. A raw nerve. "I am not stupid," she screeches. The portraits on her wall shake at the ferocity. "You're the stupid one," her nostrils flare. "You're the one stuck as an owl beast. Not me."

Edalyn nods. "Yeah, you're right," she agrees, but she points at her without raising a single finger, "but I'm not killing our people. I'm not eradicating witch kind."

"I'm saving our people," she storms back. "He's saving us! He's teaching us the right way to practice magic. Do you not know about the wars and chaos that plagued our lands, when Mother -,"

"Don't you bring her into this," Edalyn roars back, standing. It's so fast Lilith almost misses it. Their noses are touching, and she's leaning backwards, startled. "Don't you dare bring her into this," Edalyn repeats quietly, a promise lying in her tone. "She'd hate what you'd become."

Intimidation by shade? Not on her watch. Lilith straightens her back and rests her fists at her sides. "She'd come to appreciate the gift He has given," she sizes Edalyn up. "What do you think she'd say about you?"

Edalyn squares her down, unwilling to back away. "She'd say these hips don't like," she caresses her hips and sways them saucily, "and I'd tell her, _I get it from my momma._ "

"Edalyn, this is why -,"

“14.”

Almost too quiet, Lilith nearly misses it. She can't shake off Edalyn's grief and rage and poorly timed humor, but the look on her face is one she hasn't seen before. Lilith can't process, let alone accept, her sister's claims, but it's the grief, the hollow desolation in her pupils that makes Lilith want to turn back the clock. It makes her sick. It makes her want to hide. She's never felt this way before. Well, she did. Once. But she doesn't like going back to that time.

“14.”

"What," she grunts, annoyed. 

"I was 14 when you cursed me."

Lilith stops at the distraction, a solid one this time. She is fixed on the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, the age lines stretched in her neck. It is horrible but graceful in a way she thinks better not to describe. She wants to stay on this instead of anything else. Her attention is afraid to meet her youthful eyes and lightly blushed cheeks.

Her hands tremble; nails scratch and click against each other. She curls them into fists and swallows. Looking is not an option. Confrontation is not an option, and anyways, Lilith has won. Edalyn will serve the Emperor, and she will be healed. He has promised, and he is not known to break promises.

“I was 14. Asleep in the dead of the night,” tone light, it buries itself in the pores of her skin. Little Edalyn never moves. Sitting inappropriately in the chair, her words are her mightiest weapon. They’re her only weapon, but as Lilith fixes on the spot where the elder was, she knows her younger self isn't on the offense.

“I didn’t…”

“You want to know why I was so easy to curse,” she stretches on the chair, she extends like a worm, “and I am going to tell you, Lily. I was 14. I was asleep in the dead of the night. I was in my bedroom.”

Lilith covers her ears and walks away. “Stop this, Edalyn,” she shakes her head, “please, I didn’t know how strong it was. I didn’t know at the time. I was just a child.”

“So I was I,” she materializes under Lilith's nose and reaches for her wrists. Lilith snatches them away before she has to chance to scrape skin. “I thought I was safe in my home," her sucks in her bottom lip. She lifts her head defiant. A deafening silence compresses them; she feels they are the only two in the room.

“I’ve spent years trying to find a way to fix you, but you never listened. You never wanted to join the coven.”

Edalyn runs her fingers through her hair and blinks away tears. “You still think he’s going to fix me,” her jaw motions. “Lilith, he isn’t.”

"He _will_ , Eda," she sobs. "He has to!"

Edalyn drops her head, pressing her wrists to her eyes. It seems she wants to burrow her way to the center of her skull, probably past that. She retreats to the bed, drops them on her knees, and she sighs, leaning forward. She appears older than the Owl Lady; her youth mocks her in this moment, betrays the very essence of her summer ways. Her arms wrap around her shoulders, and she begins to rock, heels squeaking. She's so small, so helpless. Lilith is on her knees. So close yet so far. She wants to touch her hair, smooth it down as she did when they were girls, but she doesn’t dare broach the sacred boundaries, though she knows she has crossed them and more already. There’s no going back in time. 

"Edalyn, I promise you, you will be saved, and we will live the lives we dreamt when we were girls."

Her eyes are closed. Her fang peeks out over her lip. When she opens her eyes, three fat droplets of tears roll down her cheeks. "Lilith," she moans. "Do you hate me that much?"

“What?”

The question strikes, _no_ , shatters the resolve Lilith clutches in her claws. “I never hated you, Eda,” she whimpers. “I just wanted you -,”

A knock at the door. She reaches to touch her - shoulder, hair anything to ease the pain she's drawn concave in her soul. She can’t stand it, can’t stand the despair weighing her small body down. 

The knocks are rapid. Lilith slams her fist on the mattress but calms instantly. Smoothing her hair and dress, she strides to the door, composed and thinks of a million and one retorts to this intrusion. Unless it’s Kiki. In such a likely scenario, she will simply reply to every spoken comment and ignore every unspoken one. It’s easy.

Her tongue is glued to the top of her mouth when she opens the door. Whoever it is cannot reach her height; she glances down, gaze unforgivably bleak.

“Good evening, Ms. Clawthorne,” the server bows. “Emperor Belos wanted you to have this.”

Lilith takes the cart handle into her grasp and forces a smile. “His kindness knows no bounds,” she says through her nose, eyes closed. “I thank you.”

The server nods and moved to leave, then stops with one foot hoisted in the air.

“Yes?”

“Are you well,” the question is spontaneous. The way their eyes widen and diverts to the floor makes it obvious. “Forgive me, I just know the Owl Lady is your sister, and it must’ve been difficult.”

Lilith is confused. Her brow raises, and she feels a sharp response aimed at its target. No. Cruelty isn’t necessary here. “Yes, it was,” she stated flatly. Her fingertips connect firmly, forming a triangle of sorts. “It is never easy to see your family led astray, blind to their hubris, but my sister is safe now, at last. I did this all for her.”

 _No_ , a sob rakes along the walls, _stop lying, Lily._

“Well, I thank you, anyway,” the server beams. “You have protected the Isles and our Emperor.”

_From me?_

She sucks in her bottom lip and grimaces, though she’s sure others would see an awkward smile. 

“It is my duty,” she proclaims, “but your gratitude is comforting. Now, run along. It is late.”

She wheels the cart in, the aroma flooding the room, and she closes the door, resting her palm on it’s cool surface. 

“Edalyn, I know you may not understand,” she’s said this so many times it sounds rehearsed, “but one day you will. You will thank me for saving you, for helping save the Isles. You will -,”

Empty. The room is empty. Quiet and still. 

“Wait? Where is she?”

 _I dunno,_ Big Edalyn croons. _Could be holed up in a tree somewhere. Who knows?_

“Edalyn, please,” she massages her temples. “You’re with your family. We will help you.”

She snorts, smirks crudely. “Family doesn’t curse you in the middle of the night, leaving you to your fate for thirty years.”

“Edalyn, you are being ridiculous. The human -,”

“My family.”

She stops, confusion drawn. “What,” she laughs. “You are delusional.”

“You’re the one talking to a dead woman.” She waltzes to the window, “Look, Lilith, no matter how you spin it, you stopped being my sister the day you cast your little curse and stole my future. I just didn’t realize it until you stole my life.”

“Edalyn.”

 _No,_ a whisper howls, and Lilith drops her hand. Nothing is there. There’s a time and place; Edalyn has always been good at picking the worst of both. She doesn’t look at the dish; she doesn’t remove the top. 

A hot bath will help her forget as her heart sinks like a stone, but in the dead of night, they’ll be waiting. They’ll always be near. It isn’t a threat. Her sister isn’t keen on threats, but a promise? 

She doesn’t have a reason to be afraid, but another fear takes root in her chest cavity. She can feel it’s tendrils invade other areas. Helpless to stop it, she closes her eyes in the bath and lets her weight sink like the stone she’s made of her heart. 

_We could,_ she motions pushing her head under the water, holding it firmly, _you know._

 _No, she needs to grow._ She smiles grimly as light dances in her gold irises, embers surrounded in darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> It started as a short thing on Lilith's feelings about her sister, but I wanted Eda in on it so badly. I can't confirm whether Edalyn's really there or not. I don't know what the finale is going to throw at us next week, so I didn't want to go too far left. But I definitely believe Belos is their biological father. Throwing that out there.
> 
> Eda and Lilith have such an interesting story, and they're such amazing characters. I can't get enough of them. I really can't.
> 
> At the same time, I've had about just enough of Lilith.


End file.
